I want to start off by acknowledging that marketing is manipulation. We engage it because we believe the product or service will help improve our life in some way. Marketers have to be on their toes and crank out new ways to get, and keep, our attention.

I know this is obvious, but please bear with me.

The user experience (UX) of the marketing journey can feel like a roller coaster ride. The marketer is like the machine operator. Users willingly get on the ride. At the end of the ride they want users to feel exhilarated for more, not make them puke. 

Some desperate marketers revert to shame marketing instead of getting more creative. 

You have probably seen it. That bullshit opt-out copy that reads: "No thanks, I don't want to invest in myself". 

This demeaning copy can be found in email marketing, pop-up ads, website forms, etc..

It's like the copywriter lacks a critical understanding of courting process and just wants to pressure you into bed. They didn't stop to think of the relationship, or ask: "What if we actually courted them and make their journey worthwhile?"

I got curious about this not so new marketing tactic, so I researched the practice.

It's called, confirmshaming or manipulinks.

This wasn't on my radar so much as a brand consultant. In my opinion, this is taking pain points too far. If you are looking for compelling ways to get conversions (or keep people in your funnels) please think twice about the manipulinks and confirmshaming in your copy.

This might be especially relevant in service-based businesses. Prospective clients who are shopping (and they are all shopping) will NEVER want to engage with your brand if they feel your tactics are shaming them for not taking the next step.

For digital marketers, even if you do get the cheap win of a microconversion, you have done so explicitly with shame. Not just run-of-the-mill pain points, but outright insulting your prospects as they interact with your brand. All for a cheap button click. It's not worth it.

Digital marketing can be a 'shitshow', says one Tumblr blogger who compiles confirmingshaming screenshots.

This message was at the bottom of the email from a fasting app company. I was testing to see if their app was free or not.

The reality is, I am already on a wellness journey and I know I can get a similar app for free. It's fine that they charge for their app (even though they didn't educate me on why it's worth it), but don't put words in my mouth as to why I'm opting out. 

An aside: if someone clicks unsubscribe to one of your emails, on the next screen, don't make one of the options, "I'm breaking up with you, no more communication." It's melodramatic, immature, and cringy. (I say this with love).

The last thing someone needs when trying to peacefully organize their inbox is for a business to inflate the meaning of an opt-in. Maybe they got their freebie and hate a cluttered inbox. (more to think about here in terms of email frequency).

Personally, I care about a lot of brands on social media that I do not want in my inbox--it just gets lost (and most emails are way too long). Unsubscribing does not mean I am done with you. What you can do, instead, is invite me to connect with you somewhere else!

Remember, people are shopping and your product or service may NOT be the best fit. It's okay! Send them on their way with your blessing, not copy that screams, "Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!"

If you are a curious marketer, this article here provides helpful insights into dark patterns and shame marketing. Plus, how to avoid it. 

Who knows, maybe one day your product or service will be what they need, or they plan to recommend you to a friend!  But not if you make them puke.

I have to admit something: I've not been into marketing much these past few months. Instead, I've been working on fictional writing. I thought I wanted to focus on non-fiction, but fiction is so much more fun! (for me, at least).

So, I've been a slacker lately when it comes to deepening my knowledge on the craft of marketing . . . or have I?

In the past few months I have devoured hours of lectures on novel and screen writing. It's still digesting and I feel a bit gluttonous to be honest. But then again, my inbox tells me my new book, Understanding Show, Don't Tell: And Really Getting It arrives on Saturday--so I'm still at the smorgasbord apparently.

​For some reason, I never noticed that marketing can follow a three-act structure as well. Sure, I knew marketing was a manipulative journey--one that we willingly go on to be dazzled, but what I discovered about story makes it all different now. 

1. Connect. Make your audience feel that you understand who they are.  What makes them laugh, what makes them cry. Remember, connection isn't a strategy; you actually need to care. 

2. Build excitement from your inspirational, informational, and entertaining content so that your new friend creates an internal goal that aligns with an identity they either have, or would like to have. It's not all pain, baby. 

3. Help them actualize that goal while enjoying the process. Do this so well that they now see that a larger dream/goal--beyond their expectations--has been met while engaging with you and/or your content. 

Voila, a friend for life. Whether they buy your product/service or not, they still could be one of your raving fans!  And you get to be their raving fan!

It's easy to overthink marketing, but the basics are important. If you tend to feel overwhelmed about starting a new marketing plan you can always turn toward a marketing strategy. 

A marketing strategy, as opposed to a plan, will give you an effective foundation and model from which to work, if done well enough.

A marketing strategy says:
"I'm planning a trip to Paris next Fall! I have an approximate budget and a couple friends in mind I could invite. We're going make a site seeing agenda when we arrive."

A marketing plan says:
"I plan to take a trip to the Louvre this year on October 13th with my cousin (who has a shellfish allergy). Then, we plan to arrive at the Mont Saint-Michel the following day right as the tides rise. After which, we will hop on a train to Naples for a pre-coordinated family reunion (sans shellfish). Oh, and we need to come in under budget."

If you've never been abroad, which trip sounds more relaxing, simpler, and fun?

Back to your marketing strategy. When you are ready to add more details on HOW you plan to achieve X, a marketing plan might be a good idea. But detailed plans are not necessary, especially at the start of building your brand. 

If you need help deciding what needs to be in your brand or marketing strategy, I'd love to help.

I hear a lot of marketers talk about the importance of great copywriting. It's true--great copy is an essential part of creating content, branding, and marketing. 

But let's back up a minute. 

If you are building a brand, you need clear messaging before you start shopping for a copywriter or content creator.   

Messaging and copywriting are not the same. Yes, messaging informs copywritten content, but it also informs video and image-based content--in other words, all creative content.

Messaging includes verbal and nonverbal communication. Some people call it storytelling. Authentic messaging asks you to stop performing and get real. 

Copywriting is only as clear (and compelling) as the messaging it originates from.

Your messaging is only as strong as your brand.  And your brand is most effective when you allow it to be a vehicle for your vision. But first, you have to know which parts of your personal story, experience, and expertise will connect with the right people in the right way.

If you think you need to find a copywriter and you haven't done enough work around your messaging, you may be setting yourself up for throwing more spaghetti against the content wall.  

As a personal brand, you have to know exactly what you want to communicate, including how it solves a problem--or incites passion--in your people. If we are truly in a "business to human" world (B2H) we need to consider the humanity of the end user. 

Messaging is personal; only you can discover what it means for you and your brand.

But you don't have to figure it out by yourself. In fact, you need skillful observation from someone who knows how to recognize:
a) what's unique about your story (i.e. how you are different than others)
b) what's unique about the value you bring
c) what's interesting/compelling about the way you communicate

When your messaging is authentic it pulls people in through its well-executed content. Enter the copywriter, the graphic designer and other creators who will use your messaging to build and share compelling content.

Or, maybe you are your own content creator, which is great because you have that first hand connection with your process and will know better how to delegate later!

At the core of effective messaging is the freedom to express yourself and the willingness to lead. 

This authority cannot be outsourced. Whenever you read an amazing social post from a thought leader or personal brand, I guarantee you they did just hand that task over to a copywriter. Not without first dialing in that message and running it through quality control. This is especially important if you are a service-based brand selling intangibles like confidence, peace of mind, success, etc.. 

In a scroll-driven digital world, connection does not happen easily, or by accident. It is part of a content marketing strategy. That strategy can feel good and invite you to show up in ways you enjoy. Not phony, cheesy, or overly promotional. 

There is something magnetic about what you offer or create. It can be challenging to see this in yourself because we all have blind spots. We take our story and skills for granted.

Some of us (not saying who ;-)) start out not even wanting to share our story because we don't see how it fits into our branding or bottom line. It does.

Story is essential for personal brands. It must connect, build trust, and then refocus on the value.

I help you uncover and activate your messaging so you can confidently go forth with building your brand.

I also help you create the STRUCTURE to ensure that happens.

Without structure, there is no traction.

Without authenticity, nothing meaningful lands with your ideal audience.

I use an integrative approach that includes mindset and "toolset". It takes both to build a personal brand and make the impact (and income) you dream about. 

Are you spinning your wheels and not getting much traction?

Have you been thinking (perhaps overthinking) about?

• Launching your business/Growing your business?
• Creating a project or body of work?
• Branding (or rebranding) yourself for visibility and growth?

If this is you, and you are finally ready to let go of doubt, confusion, and fear, you're in the right place.

When doubt, confusion, and fear dominate decision-making it's an uphill climb to success.  Sure, you expect there to be challenges and work, but you also expect to make progress!

Dare to believe in possibility! 

Over the years, I've worked with, and watched, dozens of business owners struggle. And it has nothing to do with any lack of skill or talent. They struggle with things like: messaging, wearing all the hats, focus, boundaries, technology, and finding ideal clients. 

In the past, these struggles caused me to fail to launch. I know these challenges all too well.

These nasty, unresolved challenges leave creative entrepreneurs doubting themselves and feeling deflated. And all of this affects their bottom line and doesn't give them a sense of accomplishment in their chosen path.

What you can do about endless struggle:

1. Make a conscious decision to struggle less. 
2. See yourself (and FEEL yourself) experiencing ease around things
3. Create a structure for your plans (you choose whether that structure is loose or tight)
4. Let go of things that would constitute a negative vision for yourself (often this shows up as things you "should" do, but have never wanted to do).
5. Do something fun that makes you feel alive, or excited, again

I created a NEW goal-setting system called Flourish by Design. I invite you to check it out and see if this added structure helps you make progress on your path. Find it on the home page here.
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